Spain’s GR7 (part of E4) all 1,100 miles (plus some diversions) thoughts and feelings 1 month after saying this is what I’ll do.
Overwhelmed at the prospect of organising and trying to make sense of why I am doing this.
This word resonates strongly with me.
‘Describing an experience that makes you fearful yet fascinated, awed yet attracted – the powerful, personal experience of being overwhelmed and inspired’
As someone who likes to go with the flow of life, who has very few long term concrete plans trying to actually sit down and come up with the wherefores is actually a big ask.
Part of me wants to do my usual, get out there and see what feels right, yet this is such a big undertaking (at least for me) that I feel I would simply be an idiot if I did that.
The first ‘why?’ is emotional, and relatively easy.
I have a restless soul, it needs constant attention, my heart needs endless amounts of love and plenty of adventure.
It needs to feel free and able to explore.
I crave solace in wide open spaces, in woods that are rarely ventured to and in lakes that I can bathe naked in.
The only way is to simply go off and immerse myself in what my heart desires the most, to have a truly amazing time without the bane of modern day life bashing down on me.
I want to feel the sun on my cheeks in the morning, hear (whilst I still can) the rustling leaves as I run through them, the smell of the air after it’s rained in the mid afternoon, to wake up not knowing what the day will bring and to be excited at that prospect, to make a better me, to see how far I can go.
The solitude, I am never worried of being alone, it’s rare for me to feel lonely.
How can one feel lonely in nature, we’re part of it afterall.
Even with my parents deaths I don’t recall feeling lonely. Heartbroken, sad, lost without them for a while – yes, but lonely no.
My company is just fine. What I fear the most are the details, the how to’s.
Mum felt that in everything I do, I will do what feels the best for me, that I will always be alright.
My father worried I would never settle in one place, he is right about the latter though he need not have worried.
I continue to think this way, mostly, deep down I know life will always be just fine. Wherever I am going is right.
The other ‘why?’ is based on my parents dream which was to drive the length of Spain in a campervan to their new home in El morche on the Costa del Sol.
You may say I should just drive myself. Well, as I currently have no driving licence…..yes 38 and no licence, I thought I’d run it in their memory instead as well as for my pleasure.
I am also trying to raise money for Cancer Research, every bit counts, trust me.
The finer details, the logistics if you like, do need to be set down still, so with that in mind I must crack on for fear of looking like a prize plum and finding myself back on an earlier than planned flight simply because I didn’t forward plan a bit.
Next up, a few more whys? and the all important how’s?